


The Way Things Have To Be

by randolhllee



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2676407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randolhllee/pseuds/randolhllee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Root reflects on what she had to do, and accepts what has to happen next. Post-4.09 drabble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way Things Have To Be

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 4.09 (The Devil You Know).

Root is not surprised when Shaw disappears.

Shaw has been distant since she woke up, even more distant than usual. Root never thought that was possible. She spent most of her moments with Shaw before that day trying to bring her closer, studying her, figuring her out. That understanding makes it all the harder, because she knew exactly what she was doing when she plunged that syringe into Shaw’s neck.

It’s not the same as when she tased Shaw and tied her up (on two separate occasions). It’s different now, because Shaw trusted her. She trusted the whole team, but especially Root, and Root took her down when her back was turned.

Root knows how Shaw interpreted what she did. She knows that from Shaw’s point of view, that needle was Root’s vote of no confidence in Shaw’s ability to act rationally and protect herself. It is a vote that Root cannot retract, and one that Shaw can never forgive. Root also knows that she had no choice. If Shaw went after John, she would have died, one way or another, and Root could not allow that to happen.

Root understands. She just wishes that she knew that Shaw understands her too; that even if Shaw can not bring herself to trust Root again, that she can at least know that it was Root’s own weakness, and not Shaw’s, that caused Root to act as she did. Root never dared to hope for Shaw’s love, but she has come to depend on her partnership. She can see how Shaw would consider Root’s actions inexcusable, because she would have too.

And so, when Shaw disappears, Root sits quietly in the midst of John and Harold’s surprise and the furor of trying to find her, well aware that there is nothing to be done. Shaw could potentially be found, yes, but what would that help? She wouldn’t come back. If she comes back at all, Root tells herself, it will be on her own terms.

That was why she left, in the end. She needed to live on her own terms. Yes, she hated what Root had done, but even that would not have forced her away. It was the isolation, being cooped up the subway watching John and Harold run themselves ragged protecting numbers. Shaw does the protecting; she does not sit and watch, and above all, she does not do nothing. That’s what Root loves about her, and she can hardly fault her for it.

Root finds herself selfishly hoping that Shaw will be forced back by something, anything. The realization that she has nothing outside of this team, that she doesn’t want to be alone anymore—anything. She suspects that Shaw’s overwhelming urge to protect and serve in the best way she’s able will bring her back. She also suspects that she might not like the version of Shaw that returns. Worse, that she will still like, even love, Shaw, but that any chance of Shaw reciprocating those feelings will be gone with the words “I will end you.”

And so Root waits.

She spends a week on missions for Her, falling back into the steady rhythm of slipping in and out of identities. It’s a holding pattern that cannot persist. Eight days after Shaw leaves, She asks Root to take another identity, for a longer and more dangerous mission. This will eventually put her close to Samaritan, close enough to destroy. It will also bring her into the orbit of Greer and Martine along with countless other faceless Samaritan operatives. The chances of her survival are close to zero.

She accepts.

She can do this one thing right. If she can end Samaritan, then Sameen, Harold, and John will live. She could not keep Shaw’s trust, but that does not mean that she will stop trying to protect her. She tells herself that this is what she was made for, something she never suspected she could be until recently; the martyr who dies for everyone else, and the one that no one will miss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please review!


End file.
